THE DESIRABLE ONES
We often hear a lot about those who make Mistresses and other adult industry workers upset, but what about the desirable traits we enjoy seeing in our submissives or clients? I decided to cultivate a positive outlook on a triggering subject in order to educate and promote the right behaviours we want to see in men. This article is based on my personal opinion and what I have experienced over the years as a professional Dominatrix. For those looking to session with me, this is an opportunity to perfect your servitude for your cherished Mistress.
Time is the ultimate resource.
This fact can never be repeated enough hence why this should be your primary guiding question in all your interactions: “Am I honouring her precious time?” I have yet to meet a Pro Domme who lingers in the industry. Women of character have interesting busy lives and they need a good reason to stop and give their time to someone. Make yourself worth our attention and we will give it to you.
If you think I owe you any type of interactions because you are a potential client, you will have to update your preconceptions and educate on the dynamics of D/s relationships. Your uncertain considerations are not an opportunity and I’m not to be led around with a carrot on a stick. Today’s professional culture values all work before, during and after a contract. Also, those who have proven themselves worthy of my time have generously compensated for my communications and efforts from the beginning and have sustained their good habits over their years of submission. People’s personalities seldom change and respect is usually innate, rarely taught. I don’t pursue dead ends and will judge a candidate on the strength of the correlation between their actions and their words. If your initial interaction reflects good behaviours, I will engage.
Value vs worth
Even if those two words can be used as synonyms in certain contexts, I will be creating a distinction to convey my thoughts better. Bringing value to a relationship is what will create your worth and make you desirable. This applies to all interpersonal situations, not just with me. No one will consciously engage in a detrimental dynamic, even if most of us will experience a toxic relationship at one point or another in their lives. The key is to be aware of our needs and establish the proper boundaries to have our well-being respected. Cultivating healthy give and take balances with our social environments is an art we perfect throughout our lives, though a rule of thumb is that it's much easier to receive when attending to others needs. Reciprocation is an innate response in most humans and nurturing sane exchanges is the blessing of harmonious interactions.
So my next question to you is: "What value do you bring to the relationship?" Are you aware of your strengths, your resources and/or your potential worth to someone? Now, the critical aspect in increasing your worth is by bringing something that is of specific value to the individual you wish to bond with. Giving something that is not wanted or needed is pointless and, to some extent, disagreeable. You must, first and foremost, be informed on the things that this person appreciates. Not falling in the trap of assumption is important because each one of us is unique and carries eclectic desires. Socially successful individuals are particularly good at discovering what matters to others and delivering it to them. To keep this blog post concise, I will not explore the various strategies that can be used to identify other's wants and needs, but I will give this one advice: ask for what the individual wants, listen and deliver it to the best of your ability.
Be genuine and put in an effort. Insincere gifts are unpleasant and will raise suspicions towards your intentions. Also, offering less than what you could actually give is despicable and will break trust. At the other end of the spectrum, over-giving to manipulate someone in your schemes is desperate and unethical. Giving seems innate, but a lot of practice and perfecting are involved in acquiring this social skill. To help you in this delicate task, I will share what matters most to me so you can improve your submission.
Quality of life
Throughout my life, I came to realize that fame and fortune were not a priority and that what truly matters to me is not part of the superficial and frivolous. I make my way in the world following a mix of heart desires and critical thinking. I now know that I value happiness, freedom, learning, travelling, exploring what life has to offer and creativity. I want my existence to be focused on a diverse, fulfilling and profound human experience that explores all facets of our beings.
In the rat race of careers, for a long time, I confused the accumulation of wealth with wellbeing. As I perfected my methods to earn more revenue, I came to the crossroad where I was left with the choice of compromising my integrity to make more sales or accept the loss in potential gains and abide by my ideals. I chose the latter to stay true to myself and I have never regretted it. This choice exponentially increases my quality of life. That is why I add this core life lesson to my previous list of values and place it at the very top.
Luxury is NOT quality of life. Too often, people don't make this distinction, which inevitably leads to major dissatisfaction. Why would I want a designer purse if I worry about paying my rent? One of life's greatest stressors is financial insecurity. A reasonable individual will always prioritize essential needs over frivolous acquisitions. I consider myself pragmatic and when potential subs omit to cover my travel expenses and work costs, but offer to spend on useless luxury, I get particularly angry. It shows how little consideration one has over my well-being and the realities of my life. If you have resources, spend them wisely so you can reduce the real stressors of life and bring lasting joy to your Mistress. You will earn my trust and my respect immediately by showing that you truly care about me beyond our interactions.
Understanding one's values is primordial in creating value for them. Two definitions of the same word to make one crucial truth. By knowing what someone holds in importance, you can better attend to their needs and wants. This will give you the upper hand in all your relationships and enable you to comprehend others and respond adequately. Your job is to pay attention, ask questions on what the person likes and act accordingly. It seems simple, yet people fail time and time again to give what others want. I wouldn't write this article if 70% of the people around me give me things I don't want or need. Take note of what is demanded of you and deliver it hard because you have to let go of your assumptions, projections and preconceived notions.
To conclude, I will give you the final quality question that will provide you with a quality answer: "How can I improve my Mistress's quality of life?" Most submissives want to see their Dominant happy. Aiming to alleviate life concerns and improving one's well-being is a noble path, one in which you could seldom go wrong IF you pay attention to what the person values most. Respect the preciousness of time, be worthy by bringing value to those around you and make this world a better place by improving the quality of life of others.
This will not only make you a phenomenal submissive, but it will also make you a human of exception.