Updated: Nov 26, 2019
As I'm slowly waking up, last night's memories of my session with my favourite couple are jumping from one joyful moment to another. I met submissive S while he was still single. Unbelievably shy and self-conscious, he barely could admit his fetishes under the crippling weight of his conservative circumstances. Within two years, I witness my darling sissy blossom into a fulfilled kinkster that not only could embrace his inclines but eventually found a life partner that accepted him for who he was. From reassuring the trembling flustered mess to submitting openly in front of his beloved, his heartwarming journey is among the success stories that motivate me.
Finding the best route to unconditional happiness is what differentiates my vocation from a simple job. We all carry secret dreams and desires, but one of the biggest obstacles in bringing our fantasies to life is often our own lack of self-acceptance. Frozen by our hypercriticism, we live in the shadow of ourselves without ever tasting the bliss of free expression.
When training a new subject, one of the most reoccurring challenges I face is showing that being who you are is OK. We are raised to doubt ourselves, to compare and conform, led to believe that irreversible consequences will result from exposing individuality. In our hesitance to reach out for the things we truly want, we must ask ourselves: "can the consequences be irreversibly beneficial?"
Submissive S is yet another living proof that embracing who we are is not only possible; it's a critical key to access the life we desire. The more our actions line up with our wishes, the more chances we have of getting what we want. I'm stating the obvious here though we still rarely act as we are held back by fear. Our negative inner conversations get the best of us because we lack a better narrative. That's why I can't stress enough the importance of reaching out to other members of the kink community to gain more optic on your decision process.
BDSM has become less stigmatized in recent years, but a lot of work is still needed when it comes to raising awareness and educating. Breaking our isolation dissolves self-criticism as we realize that we all are a little twisted. Understanding our fetishes and kinks enables us to feel more confident and capable of doing them. As shame will lose its constricting grip on one's heart, we start enjoying ourselves and exploring pleasure.
We highly overestimate the pessimistic reactions we could generate in people. Those who don't understand are not necessarily discrediting our ways; they may just be clumsy at asking the right questions. Also, in our search for connection, we may not know how and who to reach out to. We may live unfortunate rejections that we often generalize to everyone, especially when we open up to someone we trust and they shut us down. Luckily, acceptance is contagious, and soon enough, we find ourselves attracting like-minded people who will support our new-found self-love.
The same way we don't call a plumber when we seek medical advice, we shouldn't take feedback from unqualified individuals when it comes to our kinks. One healthy way of being critical is by questioning the source of our information and confirming if it's valid. We do it in most situations of our lives but neglect to do so when it comes to our inner self-judgements. That's when consulting with the right peer or a specialist becomes crucial.
At the end of the day, being a social species, we're naturally inclined to find more excuses to get along than not. Let's be less critical of ourselves so we can allow our authenticity to impact others positively. On a rainy afternoon of 2017, I helped Submissive S accept himself, he later accepted a playful soulmate in his heart, and now I have the privilege of accepting a loving couple in my stable.